November 6th,2009 In June 2008,I decided to come back to Malaysia from the UK for health reasons. I couldn’t take the weather which aggravated my back problem.
So we made plans to sight-see a couple of places that we had put off visiting until then and also to spend some fun time together before I left.
I remember the morning we were going to Madame Tussauds,my housemate said I never looked prettier. I left in high spirits and even dared to do some posing for the pictures.
The blow came when we looked at the photos that night. I was horrified at how huge I looked with all my extras on public display. Too shocked for words,I looked at my husband. He didn’t seem to be undergoing any kind of shock like me. Even until today I cannot understand how I didn’t see myself the way I actually was.
When I got back to Malaysia the pictures were kept buried in my computer folder. Whenever people asked about photos I would say I had none. They only saw the light of day when this website was born. It still hurts a little when I hear others comment on the photos,but I tell myself that those days are over.
Two weeks back (and more than 20kgs lighter),I finally gathered the courage to ask my husband if I was really that big at that time or did the camera add on the pounds. He was convincing enough when he replied that that’s how I really was. The answer was crushing.
I had apparently lived years in denial and oblivion and it took a simple photograph to tell me that. I guess denial is the worse state anyone could live in because when reality hits it hits hard.
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